Thursday, November 26, 2009
To aspire one to be a better person
To strive for a better future together
I hope
that I'm that piece of the puzzle that makes you complete
that I give you a reason to wake up everyday
that I'm your strength in your darkest moments
that I can always push you on when you're losing strength
No frills, no drama
Just real and simple us :)
Monday, November 16, 2009
The trip lasted for 15 days including all the flying, and we went from San Francisco to LA to Vegas. While the trip was of course rewarding, it was kinda challenging at the same time to manage such a big group of people of different ages.
Friends who know me well will know that I'm no travel bug. But still, I can't help but re-live the experience to anyone who is willing to hear.
One thing has totally intrigued me even until now, which is the science behind crossing time zones. On our return flight back, we boarded the plane at San Francisco at 11 am, and our flight was supposed to last for 10 hours. However, imagine my surprise when throughout the 10 hour flight, the sky didn't turn dark at all! When we touched down at Narita airport, the time was only 4 pm which meant that the clock turned back by 6 hours!
I just can't see how travelling across time zones isn't the same thing as time travel, if it means that you either turned back time or went forward in time. Can't understand all the jargon talk online, so if anyone can figure this out, hey feel free to enlighten me!
Have decided to compile a list of what I heart about US and what I would prefer our little red dot to. Will try to publish all the albums by this week, but have a feeling it'd be another busy week!
Stuff I love about US
1. Toilets!
The toilets in US are marvellous clean, it's unbelievable! Even those at petrol kiosks are spotless, and they have toilet seat covers at almost every one! The only dirty ones I've come across (two) were at Chinese restaurants. Hmm. The horrific state of our toilet hygiene struck me no lesser than at Changi. Had to skip three cubicles to find one decent one. Life just hasn't been the same since.
I think they should send like NEA people to US for work-study trip. But government and toilet cleaners can only do so much. For gawd's sake, just sit down people!
PS: The toilets in Narita airport totally amused me as well. They not only have bidet, they also have this function to simulate flushing sounds if you have to let one rip. Pity the fake flushing sound is discernably different from the real one! Hah!
2. Ice water in restaurants
If restaurants in US can provide free ice water to their customers, I don't see why restaurants in Sg should charge for it. They have to pay to buy bottled water to give their customers for free. We get it on tap. Duh.
The best thing is that they always serve you these HUGE glasses of water, filled with ice, and topped with a slice of lemon. Couldn't ask for better to complete the meal. YUMS.
3. Multi-coloured sunsets!
By far the most beautiful, breathtaking sunsets I've ever seen, and likely never will be seen here. Hues of pink, orange, purple and blue at the same time!
4. Grand Canyon
It's a beauty so breathtaking that pictures and words just don't do it justice.
5. Factory Outlets
OMG. They were soooooooo good.
But There's Nowhere Like Home
1. Tipping
It's just such a hassle!
2. Humidity
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for our humid weather. The weather there was sooo dry that we all had peeling skin at the end of the trip! Complexion felt instantly better once we came back :D
3. Transportation
The roads in US weretotally a challenge to navigate, with funny signs coming up every now and then and lanes which were not clearly marked. The scariest experience is driving on the highways at night when there's no street lighting and you only had light reflectors on the floor which could reflect of your headlights for like 500 metres. Scaryyy
Trying to navigate the public transport in San Fran was a nightmare too. I was practically aching for our trusty buses and trains.
4. Fitting Rooms
Some of the shops we went had the most bizarre fitting room system.
If you wanted to try something, the sales assistant would have to unlock the fitting room for you. But, they don't wait outside for you to be done. So when another customer wants to try something, they would KNOCK on the fitting room doors to see if they're occupied, and after one knock, they would unlock the doors for the customer.
It beats me to no end why they have to do this, when the smarter thing would be to leave empty ones unlocked and occupied ones locked. Duh.
5. Food Food Food!
Nothing beats SG for the easy access to a wide variety of food.
Not to mention that the portions they serve they are obscenely large, which means we had to share our food every meal.
I love our portions. Cos the whole plate is mine mine mine!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Really really touched that J came to save me last night when I was in a frenzy looking for printer. Wish we hadn't fought and could have had two more happy days before the trip.
But..I also know that every argument allows us a chance to understand each other better...and we always come out stronger.
Love love you Grumpy. Can't wait to come back in November!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Finally back from my two days of confinement in Ubin for OBS training!
As usual, it was a real torture mentally preparing myself for this course. It didn't help that J would be going on a trip the very next day after I'm back :(
But I guess, although I'm always very reluctant and whiney about going for such stuff, I always throw in my 110% when I'm there. I mean, if you can't help it, why not try to enjoy it? This approach that I adopt usually means that I will enjoy the experience and learn something out of it. Perhaps next time I will just try to keep that in mind and skip the drama the next time round!
Talking about being involved, I really hate it when people refuse to participate in a group setting. I mean, there is a difference between being shy, which is perfectly fine, and being indifferent, which is just annoying. I mean, it not only shows disrespect to the facilitator and the rest of the team, it also wastes alot of people's time and makes things difficult for everyone. Further, such people always just get a free ride yet can lay claim to the successes as part of the group.
Think about it, how would they like it if the rest of us just adopt the same attitude and refuse to contribute? And in places like NACLI and OBS, I can assure you that they will not let the group get away without doing anything! For example, we had to complete a challenge today, and the target to complete was at 11 am, but we were assured that the trainers were prepared to stay with us till 6pm! If all of us didn't give a shit and just sat on our fat asses and look bored, we would not be able to go home early! Luckily, the good ones outnumbered the bad and we managed to finish on time.
But seriously, these people would be the death of me. And the worst thing is, by distancing themselves from the course, they are just WASTING their own time! If they are not involved, they will definitely be bored and not learn anything from it! For me, I'd rather give it my all and throw myself into it than to be bored for 2 days just sitting there spacing out and complaining.
I guess, how much you get out of life really depends on your attitude towards it.
Okay, enough of griping on that, let me share my achievements with you guys!
Rock-Climbing
I actually managed to scale the rock wall and got to the top of 10 metres! From the start we were told to write down our goal and I immediately wrote down the 10 metres as my goal. My theory is that if you aim high and you fail, you will still do well enough.
Half way up the wall though, I realized that my side of the wall was considerably sparser with the grips than the other side. There were some points when I really felt that it would be impossible to proceed.
But, having set the goal, I was really really reluctant to give up and was half wishing that I would slip and fall instead. Then, at least I had not given up!
Gratefully, with encouragements from the rest of the team and by focusing on the goals, I managed to make it up to another level, and another. Sometimes I would just hang there, not convinced that I could do it, but not wanting to let go either. Sometimes the path I chose was really impossible for my physique, but there was always another alternative if I just tried hard enough. Often. the hardest climb would usually be followed by an easier one.
And nothing can describe the pride, relief and exhilaration that you get when you reach the top, and your team members are cheering for you below.
The rock climbing experience really greatly impacted me in several ways.
Firstly, it really feels good to achieve the goal that you set for yourself, even though it may look daunting. Even at times when I felt like giving up, it was the goal that kept me moving. Of course, we need to be realistic in setting our goals and that can only be done when you understand yourself well enough. Every body has different skill sets and competencies. But once you set a realistic goal, I say put in your 200% effort into it and work towards it up to the last moment.
At the very least, even if you didn't achieve your goal, you know that that was the best you could achieve and there's no room for regrets. Often at work, somethings come along and they seem so impossible to fulfill, but I find that if you filter out all the negativity and just take it one step at a time, you will more often than not get there.
Secondly, I realized that we cannot always be a one-man show and assume that we can succeed on our own. I mean, without the help of the team supporting me up the wall, or shouting out advice on which step to take, I would never have completed the wall. Being so near, there are just some blind spots which are impossible to see even if they are right under your nose. This experience really showed me how important team work is, and that often our sucess is not ours alone.
Shut Up
This time round I made a conscious effort not to be too opinionated. Of course, I am still very forthcoming during sharing sessions, but when it comes to problem-solving, I deliberately refrained from insisting on my point of view. For those of you who know me well, you would know how difficult this is for me. I mean, I am one of those people who tend to think that we are very capable and can come up with good observations / solutions, and I typically defend my opinions to death.
This time round, I decided to share my suggestions but to just take it easy if people didn't agree. Of course, it didn't feel good to have people disregard your suggestions, but this was about me, and not them. And disregard they did! It seems that often solutions are decided upon not by logic, but by how loudly/aggressively ideas are delivered.
I guess, I am often guilty of this too, so it was really a learning journey for me to experience how I may have treated others too. The best part? The world didn't come to an end just because my solutions/ideas weren't used! The weight of "saving the world" doesn't fall on my shoulders! And what makes me think that I am smarter than the rest, right? Sure, there were times when I was exasperated that people were obviously going about things in a less than ideal way, but that's ok! I can still go to sleep soundly tonight :)
Process vs Results
Someone in my team kept on saying "The process is more important than the results". Bullshit. I mean, yeah, the process is important, but that shouldn't give you the excuse not to try harder or do it better! At the end of the day, if the team is always losing, doesn't it reflect that the process is not efficient as well?
For example, we were doing this particular challenge and we were obviously making a mess (as usual taking orders from the ones with the loudest voice), and the other two teams were speeding ahead of us. I suggested that perhaps we should re-think our strategy several times, the first being quite early on. The reply from loudspeaker was of course, you guessed it! It's ok it doesn't matter cause the process is more important.
Bullshit. How good a process is it when you are continuously patting yourself on the back and saying well done just because we are not stopping and we are "enjoying the process"? Really? How enjoyable is it to watch others speed past you when you could have done something but chose not to? To me, it's just an excuse to disregard alternative suggestions and insist on doing things your way, even if it's clearly not working.
Newsflash, no one likes to feel stupid. I mean, i agree that often, the process is important. Stories of people choosing to forgo success over helping others are always inspiring, but it should be for a good reason! Choosing not to strive for the best for the sake of "enjoying the process" just doesn't cut it for me.
All in all, this trip really turned out to be an enlightening one for me, and I am sure that the lessons I learnt will stay with me for quite awhile.
Met J after a short rest and went to catch 500 Days of Summer! It was really really really GOOD! In terms of casting, directing, plot, script and even artistic treatment of the film, it was awesome!
SPOILER ALERT
Ok I'm not actually gonna spill the beans on the plot, but just wanna share my views on an issue that was touched on in the film. You can always check back this post after watching the movie :)
You know how some people will say that they are commitment phobic (or whatever) and they don't believe in relationships or marriage? I think that's bull. I think it just means that you are not the one for them. I mean, come one right? If you really love someone, you would definitely want to keep that person in your future and wouldn't want to risk losing them.
What I can concede though, is that perhaps the person doesn't realize that he/she doesn't really love you that much. It's just like the lead actress in the movie, she didn't deliberately lie to the guy, in fact she made things clear from the start. But of course it would hurt like shit when she breaks up with you because she claims to be commitment-phobic but ends up marrying someone in a flash. But to be fair, I think she really didn't know that she would be capable of loving someone to such an extent that she would be prepared to soften her stance. It's like when you meet the right person, the lightbulb just goes off in your head, you're enlightened and you exclaim "I get it!".
Nonetheless, I really think the most important thing in a relationship is making sure your life goals align. I don't mean frivolous things like having the same taste in clothes, food, etc (unless it's a matter of life or death for you), but critical things like fillial piety, child-bearing, marriage, citizenship, just to name a few.
I mean, if you have decided that you want to be a mother and fully experience womanhood, why short-change yourself by marrying someone who doesn't want kids? Half the time you'd be hoping that he would relent someday and half the time he's wishing that time will pass until you become incapable of having kids anymore.
Why do that and shortchange yourself from reaching your life goals? Don't be with someone hoping that they would change for you, that's a recipe for disaster right there! I mean, we are all guilty of doing that, but I really don't think this can be afforded on critical life goal issues. Of course, unless you have decided that being with this person is more important to you than having a child, then go for it! But that's your decision, and your life to bear. No regrets and no blames.
Ahh well, feels good to blog so much even if it's verbal diarrhoea to you. Always happy to hear your comments :)
Friday, September 25, 2009
Why win the battle when you will lose the war?
It would show more wisdom to know when to retreat
And save yourself for a better day.
And I guess,
This also translates into other parts of our lives
Be it
Relationships
Work
Life
Goals
Know which ones you can win
And go all out to win it
Know which ones you will lose
And just move on from it
This popular prayer just came into my mind,
And it is so apt for this post
God, grant me the serenity
To accept the things I cannot change;
The courage to change the things I can;
And the wisdom to know the difference.
Let's focus on the big picture,
And don't sweat the small stuff.
:)
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Easy to receive, but hard to return.
I guess, all of us are dysfunctional in our own ways,
We all hold firm values and beliefs in one way or another,
That will inevitably clash with those of others
Perhaps the best way to keep the peace,
Is really not by arguing or debating our way through,
Not by weighing the merits or demerits of each school of thought,
But by graciously accepting that we all have our differences.
That we can agree to disagree.
The gratitude I felt,
To be understood and accepted without question,
Without need for justification,
Had a much greater impact than any reasoning could have had.
I guess at the end of the day,
Most importantly,
Love will see us through.
On a side note:
Was asking the gang what their greatest accomplishment in life would be.
My answer was to be loved.
Not just the obligatory type of loved,
But to be loved so deeply that I really make a difference to other people's life.
Not just by my family,
Although their love keeps me going through the toughest of times,
But by others as well who are not obliged to love me,
Because it is an affirmation of me having mattered to them.
In addition, on top of being loved,
I guess I would like to be remembered as well.
:)
Thursday, September 03, 2009
Seeing the bright smile on their faces over a simple meal
Getting that $35K cheque even though it doesn't go to me
Knowing that people still care
For all the things that money can't buy
For all the happiness and small wonders we can give
That's what makes this job worth it.
